


i can't handle change.

by PettyPrince01



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Breakdown, No Dialogue, neil and every other person mentioned is a reference to someone in my life, neil isn't in this story, no happy ending, there's no real ending, this is a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 00:11:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17652362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PettyPrince01/pseuds/PettyPrince01
Summary: Todd Morrison doesn't need people, he's just fine by himself.This is a huge self insert and just a big ol vent so if you're expecting an actual story, sorry to say but you might need to look elsewhere.The next chapter of LGTGB should either be up late tonight or sometime during the week.





	i can't handle change.

Todd was alone.

 

He’s always been alone, no matter what.

 

He doesn’t need friends. They only drag him down.

He doesn’t want to be there for others, it was too much of a bother to care for other people. People were  _ annoying _ .

He was scared of people.

 

He was afraid of making friends, to let them into his life and for them to see him for who he really is.

He was terrified of letting people in, to trust them. For them to trust him.

 

Because no matter what happens, he makes them leave by doing the wrong thing

 

**_He always does the wrong thing._ **

 

It’s his fault anyway, it always is. Because he’s a  **coward** . And  **cowards** don’t deserve friends.

 

He’s nothing but a useless, pathetic  **_coward._ **

 

When he met his first best friend, he was convinced that they’ll be with each other forever. That one day when they get older that they’ll live with each other and support each other no matter what.

 

That was his first mistake.

 

Soon after after two years, he does something bad. And then he lost them. He lost  **everyone** . Todd was impulsive and selfish, he wanted to be hated, so why did it hurt so much? It’s what he wanted, so why was he crying on his bed like a little kid? Why was he regretting everything that he let happened,  _ why isn’t he happy why isn’t he laughing at their pain why did he do it  _ **_why did he lie why did he let someone else take the blame why was he begging for forgiveness from Her when She used him-_ **

 

Todd didn’t like making friends after that.

 

Things went to shit afterwards.

 

He met a few more people, got to know them, got to leave them. They were only people he knew. Not really friends.

Then he met him. 

His name is Neil

Neil makes Todd feel loved.

Todd doesn’t want neil to ever leave him, so he always tries his hardest to make neil happy

 

He’s his “Neil”.

 

Yul was his best friend back when he was younger

Yul was really interesting, but todd never liked his mother very much.

 

Todd hated his mother.

 

Even when he spoke to his mother, it took everything in his power to not call her a pathetic excuse of a parent.

 

He still wonders to this day if Yul is even alive.

 

Todd meets someone named Cher, Cher is a nice person. He’s a year younger than Todd, but he loves him no matter what.

Cher and Todd become friends

They become good friends

 

They have their bad nights, Cher more than Todd, but Todd helps him anyway become he cares for him.

Cher then becomes Noel, Noel is a nice name.

 

Todd and Noel fight, not really fighting but they have miscommunications.

Todd ignores everyone for a while sometimes, even Noel.

 

And Noel hates that.

 

Todd is trying to fix that about himself

It never works.

 

Noel gets sick of Todd, Todd knows it’s his fault.

 

Todd isn’t trying enough, he knows this. 

 

_ You only care for yourself _ .

 

He’s in love with Noel

But he can only have Neil.

 

Noel is getting fed up with Todd, because Todd isn’t changing

 

He never changes.

_ I don’t want to hurt you like you did to me. _

 

Todd is whimpering now, oh so pathetically. 

 

_ You mean nothing to me anymore.  _

 

Todd starts drinking more, he wants to forget.

 

**You always hurt Noel** the voice says to him

It was Yul’s voice

 

_ I don’t wanna go off on you, and be super pissy at you, like you have to me _

 

**He’ll leave you eventually, it’s only a matter of time** the voice says again

 

It was  **Her** voice this time.

 

_ I don’t need this kind of treatment from you.  _ He’s helping himself more, Todd is proud of him.

 

**_I don’t want to be friends anymore._ **

 

Todd feels his heart and world break from those words

 

**_I don’t need you, Todd._ **

 

Todd is staring at those words

 

Noel had called him, and told him every single thing that was wrong with him, and why he’s a bad person,

 

Noel is telling him the truth, something Todd never heard Yul say to him.

 

Noel was crying, Todd made him cry a lot even if he told himself not to.

 

Todd was a bad person,

 

Todd will lose everyone and everything.

 

He can’t breathe at this point, his lungs filled with agony and recklessness. He’s pulling harshly at his hair, but he can’t feel anything. He can’t feel  **anything** and oh god he can’t breathe why couldn’t he breathe why did he lose Noel it was his fault it was all his  **fault.**

 

Todd was sobbing, he couldn’t find his voice. His arms were littered with scratch marks from his nails, he continued sobbing. He was such a bad person, why couldn’t he make things right?

 

**You should’ve never hurt your first family.**

 

He punched his own jaw.

 

**You should’ve never hurt your second family.**

 

He punched at his head and face, bruises were forming faster and faster. His lip was bleeding, he scratched at his throat.

 

**Now you’re alone.**

 

Todd was screaming at this point. Screaming at himself and screaming at the voice. The voice of Yul, Neil, Noel and every single person he lost. They were screaming at him, telling him how much of a disappointment he was to everyone, to his parents.

 

It was too much, he couldn’t do it anymore.

 

He needed air, he needed  **Noel** .

 

God, he fucked up so badly. No matter how much he begged in his decaying mind he knew Noel would never want someone like him, would never want him back.

 

Todd still couldn’t feel his hands, his fingers and palms were numb. No matter how hard he punched himself or how hard he tried tearing his own skin off, they remained on his body. They reminded him of every single thing he’s done wrong.

 

He was terrified of being alone, but here he was; all alone.

 

He lost Yul,

 

He lost Noel,

 

He lost-

 

**_Neil._ **

 

Todd couldn’t lose him, he just could not lose him. Neil means so much to him, Neil was his, and he loves him so fucking much. What if he lost him too?

 

What if Neil left him?

_ He was going to leave Todd, _

 

**_Todd would be all alone._ **

 

Just the thought of it happening made Todd go hysterical, he was sobbing and screaming and  _ laughing  _ at everything. Todd was losing his mind, his heart and his will to even continue on.

 

He was so tired. Tired of hurting everyone, tired of never doing the right thing.

 

Todd Morrison wasn’t a quitter by no means.

 

February sixth of last year, he had failed.

 

And February sixth of this year, he was going to do it right.

 

You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed;

 

**_Try and try again._ **


End file.
